Healing Through God’s Love: The Power of Separation

Back in 2020, I found myself smack in the middle of one of those “life shift” seasons—the kind where you’re asking God gut-wrenching questions like, “Why don’t You love me?” and “Why won’t You fight for me to stay alive?”

Even though I was surrounded by friends and family—people I loved deeply—I was just beginning to understand and receive God’s love in a way I never had before. For so long, I couldn’t recognize what God’s love even looked like. So when spiritual attacks and natural hardships hit, I assumed it was punishment. I thought I was being overlooked, or worse, that I was just a bad person unworthy of anything good.

But what I was discovering in that season flipped everything upside down: God wasn’t critical or cruel like I had been taught to believe. He was kind. Gentle. Patient. Compassionate.

That kind of love heals—but it also breaks your heart. Why? Because once you’ve tasted real love, you start to recognize all the places in your life where you were simply tolerated instead of treasured.

Suddenly, I saw the eye rolls. The backhanded comments. The shade. The sighs of toleration instead of celebration. And it hit me: I wasn’t being loved. I was being endured.

The Awakening: When You Learn What Real Love Feels Like

Let’s keep it a buck: if you don’t know what real love looks like, you’ll accept whatever version is available without asking questions.

I grew up in a home marked by addiction and domestic violence. As a quirky kid, I assumed that the neglect, emotional distance, and the constant performance for acceptance were normal. It was all I knew.

After growing up with an on-again, off-again relationship with church, I gave my life to Christ at 19. But it wasn’t until 2018 that I made the decision (again) to become abstinent and intentionally spend time with God—just me and Him, no distractions. That quiet, consistent space became fertile ground for a loud, undeniable revelation in 2020:

I wasn’t being loved. I was being tolerated.

And worse? I was being lied on, talked about, mocked, and shamed. God began to whisper something heavy in my spirit:

“It’s time to separate.”

And that wrecked me. Because I loved my friends and family. But the deeper truth? Staying and betraying myself was wounding my soul.

Obeying Gods Call to Leave

This isn’t the first time God asked someone to leave.

Think about Abraham. In Genesis 12, God told him:

“Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.” —Genesis 12:1 (NIV)

God asked Abraham to leave everything familiar—his homeland, his relatives, even his father’s household. Why? Because there was a promise attached to his obedience.

Abraham didn’t get all the details up front. He wasn’t handed a map or a ten-step plan. He just trusted God and walked away from comfort to follow calling.

Abraham didn’t leave out of bitterness. He left because obedience required it.

Sometimes, the place you’re in has served its purpose. The people around you may have been part of your foundation, but not your future. And when God says go—go.

Your obedience may be the doorway to your promise.

I know it sounds harsh. But if God is telling you to create space from people—even family—you need to listen. Not because they’re awful, but because your calling is costly.

God showed me that staying would mean I’d spend more time chasing their acceptance than walking in His purpose. And let’s be honest—when you stay in environments that force you to shrink, self-doubt will eat your obedience alive.

So yes, I separated myself. But I left in love.

Lessons From Joseph’s Forgiveness

As I wrestled with this new way of understanding God’s love, I was drawn to a familiar story in Scripture- one that mirrored my pain, and my obedience, and the feeling of being misunderstood. Joseph’s journey really gripped me. If you are not familiar with the story of Joseph, check out this video giving you brief rundown on his story https://youtu.be/uTwJChZImcI?si=dvgBnK6maELYg5tJ

I’m learning to stay open, because just like with Joseph, God may one day bring those people back around transformed. If and when He does, I’ll receive them with the same grace I’ve been given.

God began to bring the story of Joseph back to me. You know—Jacob’s favorite son, the dreamer, the one whose own brothers hated him so much they threw him in a pit and sold him into slavery.

But here’s the part that stuck with me: In Genesis 45:4-5, Joseph reveals himself to his brothers and says, ‘…do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life.’ This highlights his understanding of divine purpose amidst personal betrayal.

He didn’t send word. He didn’t invite them to see the palace. He didn’t reach out when he got married or had kids.

He lived his life. And when the time was right, God brought his family to him.

And when they arrived? He didn’t clap back. He didn’t air their dirty laundry. He didn’t say “I told you so.”

He wept, embraced them, and provided for them. He responded in love.

Joseph’s healing didn’t make him hard. He was transformed.

Let’s Get (Theologically) Real

Let’s be clear: the Bible never says God told Joseph not to return home. His distance could’ve been due to circumstance—he was enslaved, imprisoned, and then promoted to high office. But when his brothers finally showed up, he didn’t hesitate to forgive and care for them.

So if you’re applying Joseph’s story to your own life:

• Don’t use it to justify bitterness.
• Don’t confuse distance with disobedience.
• Don’t weaponize your healing. Let it be transformative.

This Scripture stopped me in my tracks:

Matthew 12:47-50 — Redefining Family

“Someone told Him, ‘Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to You.’ He replied to him, ‘Who is My mother, and who are My brothers?’ Pointing to His disciples, He said, ‘Here are My mother and My brothers. For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.’” —Matthew 12:47-50 (NIV)

Jesus wasn’t rejecting His biological family—He was prioritizing spiritual alignment. When your natural ties conflict with your Kingdom purpose, your loyalty belongs to God first.

And yes, the Bible emphasizes love, forgiveness, and reconciliation. But it also makes room for boundaries, obedience, and discernment.

Take This With You:

• Joseph didn’t try to go back.
• Joseph didn’t plot revenge.
• Joseph didn’t even check in.
• Joseph healed from his pain.
• Joseph just lived a fantastic life.

And when God brought his family to him—he was ready.

You don’t have to prove people wrong. Just obey. Stay planted. Heal deep. And let God bring what’s meant to return—back to you.

💌 Ready to Walk Out Your Joseph Season?

If this blog post stirred something in you, don’t just scroll away—move with it.
God isn’t just calling you to leave… He’s calling you to heal, obey, and step boldly into what’s next.

Download my FREE 3-Day Joseph Season Devotional and let’s walk this out together—one obedient, tear-stained, purpose-filled step at a time.

👉 3-Day The Joseph Season Devotional
(Because obedience is hard—but you don’t have to do it alone.)